It was bound to happen. The events of the last 5 months caught up with me and I could not figure out what to say on my blog.
I still don't know what to say. I guess I'll free-write and see what happens.
My mother Sarah died on July 14th. I flew to Mexico on the 15th. After spending the first night tossing back tequila shots in Mom's honor and waking up with a brutal headache at 4:30 in the morning, my sisters and I spent a week at Mom's house.
Her house was hollow without her there. I experienced my first intense moment of loss.
We boxed, sent, donated, signed, arranged, informed, and planned: all the things we are still in the process of doing for our father's affairs, and, sadly, still going through for my sister's husband. There are so many little things to take care of when someone dies. My brother stopped in now and again (he and his wife stayed at a hotel). We began the process of mourning together. Don't get me wrong: we had some great laughs, my sisters and I, but we all decided we're getting sick of this end-of-life business.
We don't want to be "strong" anymore.
Sisters are a blessing. As I said to a friend of mine in an email, those of us who have sisters know how truly wonderful it is to be able to love someone unconditionally. My sisters and I have had our differences but they've never marred our love for each other and seldom interfered in our relationships. In the past 5 months, we've leaned heavily upon each other. Sisters are there for each other, period.
One of the reasons I haven't posted on my blog is because I've been troubled by someone's very rude behavior during this difficult time in my life, behavior that was hurtful. Over the last week, I've asked myself many times what I should do about this person and I keep arriving at the same conclusion: let it go and move on. I don't need negativity in my life. I'm sad to see the relationship dissolve, but one thing I've learned is that my contentment is not dependent upon the actions of others; it lies within me.
With the negativity behind me, and the grieving resumed, I was finally able to get in a good chunk of writing time today.
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An Echelon Press LLC Short story
Writer of contemporary fiction, both short stories and novel length. Currently at work on two novels. One is an urban romantic comedy/mystery; the other is mainstream fiction. My published short stories can be purchased at EchelonPress.com, Fictionwise.com, and Amazon.com.
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- Janelle Dakota's blog
- I'm glad you stopped by. Stay a while, poke around in the archives, & leave a comment. I'd love to hear from you!
About Me
Words, and the intriguing way they arrange themselves to form a story, have always intrigued me. I love to escape into a story and see life through the eyes of the characters on the page. In pursuit of this passion, I've not only filled my home with books of every genre, but I've penned tales both long and short. In 2007, I decided to dive into the short story market just to see if I could find any success there as a writer. Two of my short stories were published with Echelon Press; another received finalist status with Lunch Hour Stories. My dream, however, is to write a novel.
I live near the Emerald City in the Pacific Northwest with my husband, our two children, and a dog we rescued and named Frederick. Most of the time I'm busy with the family: remodeling our 1960's rambler, homeschooling, and doing what I can to help my husband with his tool business. But when I get a chance to sneak away to my own pursuits, I spend that time writing and critiquing and striving to grow and improve as a writer.
I live near the Emerald City in the Pacific Northwest with my husband, our two children, and a dog we rescued and named Frederick. Most of the time I'm busy with the family: remodeling our 1960's rambler, homeschooling, and doing what I can to help my husband with his tool business. But when I get a chance to sneak away to my own pursuits, I spend that time writing and critiquing and striving to grow and improve as a writer.
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Don't want to leave a message for all to see? Contact me privately by email at JanelleDakota@yahoo.com
E-book available on Fictionwise.com
An Echelon Press LLC Short story
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- Heather Ingemar's Blog
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Books I've read
- List will resume when my life returns to normal, whatever that is
5 comments:
You, my dear, seem to be weathering an absolutely brutal time very well.
Your post brought back a lot of memories from whem my mom died and you're right. Thank God for sisters.
I'm starting to view the end of a life as a reason to celebrate, given the circumstances of the passing, of course. In my mom's case, it was a good thing and we celebrated a life well lived. Same thing with my uncle.
Laughter and tears. Kinda sums life up, doesn't it.
I truly hope you get more laughter from here on out.
Strength can be exhausting, can't it? Especially the strength needed to resist the bait put out by those people who for whatever reason feel the need to put themselves and whatever drama they think will get them the most attention first in their lives. They want others to fall to their level, and by reacting to them, you are only feeding their "need." Negative attention, positive attention, it doesn't matter. Attention whores, as my husband calls them. Anyway, I'm proud that you have been able to resist it so far! And I'm proud of you for other reasons too!!
You can do whatever you put your mind and heart to!
My dear friend,
I am sorry to hear that someone was hurtful to you in this, your time of needs. I hope it wasn't me being rude and if it was, I would never have intentionally done anything to be rude or hurtful. I value our friendship too much.
I keep hoping things will start looking up for you and that you can get back to visiting with some of your friends online and writing your stories. You have a passion that should never be squelched by anyone. I hope whoever hurt you knows what they have done and that they have absolved being your friend.
I look forward to catching you online if only briefly for a short chat and a cyber hug. Prayers and blessings to you and your family. E :)
I'm so sorry to hear about your mom's passing. I lost both of my parents in 2001...my brother a few years before that. I completely understand when you say you've had enough of loss.
Hugs,
Ash
Thank you for stopping by, Ashling. I'll take all the compassion and hugs I can get :) I'm sorry to hear about your brother and your parents. Losing a loved one is, we hear, an important part of life. The experience has the power to make us embrace life, to live more fully, reach for goals, or just become a better person. That's all good and I agree, but it sure sucks not having Mom and Dad around.
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