The story below is something I've been meaning to post from my pre-blog days. The kids and I talk about this story often. The lesson we learned that day was so valuable! Just today, when I found an open, shady parking spot, my daughter said, "I want that spot!" So, guess what? We left it for someone who needed it more than we did.
September 2006
Thought I'd share a recent experience. The kids and I were out on errands one day last week. It was fairly hot and we were hungry so we stopped at a deli for sandwiches. I drove the van to the far side of a parking lot - far away from the department stores and shops - and parked in the shade of the small trees lining the lot. All the parking spots along there were available because no one wanted to walk that far, in the heat, to the store and back. So I parked sideways, taking up 3 spots with my minivan, to make the best use of the shade. As I said, all the spots were open. There were at least 20 shady spots surrounding me, and a dozen more about 30 yards away across a median. We took out our sandwiches, rolled down the windows, and tried to enjoy a few minutes in our busy day. It wasn't an ideal place to eat lunch because we were parallel to a busy street, but you take what you can get, ya know?
A woman pulled up in a blue sedan and started honking. I mean, Toot-toot! Toot-toot! Toot-toot! My son looked out his open window and the lady said, "I want that spot."
I looked around, ahead of me, behind me - there was no one there. Not one car. All the spots were open and available. A car came along behind the blue sedan, went around, and then came back to park, crookedly, about ten slots behind me. I could see she was there to talk on her cell phone, drink her iced coffee, and smoke a cigarette.
The lady in the blue sedan was still there. She LAID on the horn. "Move your car!" she shouted.
I started looking for a sign that said Employee Parking Only or something to indicate that I had committed a violation. I had a deli sandwich on my lap - a messy veggie sandwich with avocado - and I had the driver's seat pushed back. Whatever the inconvenience, I thought I should move the van because obviously there was a reason. Why else would the lady be so upset? So I started the car and very carefully pulled forward far enough so that I was occupying 3 different stalls. This gave her room to pull in behind me.
She followed me and laid on the horn again.
I said to my children, "What? I thought she said she wanted that spot?"
My son said she was waving at me to pull forward. So I did. And she pulled forward. So I backed up, thinking maybe I had the wrong spot or something. The whole time I'm thinking, Why can't she take one of these other spots? Why am I moving around like this, when she could have any one of these? Where the heck does she want me to go?! There were at least 20 spots available and we played this twisted game of tag for a few minutes. I looked around thinking maybe she was meeting someone, but no, there was just that one car further down: Smoking Woman on the cell phone. If Blue Sedan was meeting Smoking Woman, then she'd pull closer to the other car, right? And no one was standing in the parking lot or on the sidewalk waiting, there wasn't a bus stop...nothing! So I pulled forward again and put the car in park and said to heck with it. She'd just have to deal.
I shut the car off and started eating my sandwich again. The lady revved the engine and pulled right up to my back bumper but didn't hit me. Next, she threw her car in revers and sped backwards at an alarming rate just as a car was coming along to get to the main road. I watched in my side mirror as they almost collided. Blue Sedan woman then pulled into one of the slots that we had been occupying when she arrived. Get this: the woman got out of her car and went to my SON'S side of the car (scary) and started to tell me off!
She said I was hogging the shade. Well, first of all, I was there first so neener-neener (I didn't say that) but my gosh, there were like 20 other shady parking spaces! All with the same amount of shade!
My response was a smile and a sweet, calm, "We're just sitting here for a few minutes to enjoy our lunch."
She said it was against the law for me to take more than one spot. Um, no, it isn't but I didn't say that. What if I had an RV? Or I was driving my husband's tool truck? Besides, the parking lot is private property and I don't believe traffic laws apply. (Are there traffic laws that state how many spots you can take up in a half-empty parking lot?) I told her there were plenty of other shady places for her to park. She said wanted to shop and she didn't want her car to be hot when she was done and I was not the only person in the world.
And she walked off.
I shook my head and laughed, and then I called my husband and told him about it. He told me all the choice things he would have said to her and pointed out that - first and foremost - he would NOT have moved the car. My husband was amazed at my attitude about the incident, that I didn't tell her off right there in the parking lot, that I wasn't sitting there thinking of what I should have said to the woman and most amazingly of all - he was amazed that I wasn't angry.
My thought about the incident was this: How pathetic of a person do you have to be to go out of your way to do that to someone? To physically antagonize and intend to intimidate? I felt pity for her. Her life must be a lot worse than mine if that's what she chose to do with her time. She was going shopping for new clothes - a privilege many don't have. Her actions were a reminder that nothing in life is so bad that you should go out of your way to try to hassle your fellow man. It was a good lesson for the kids, too. I don't know what bug crawled up her butt and made her so cranky or so violent, but her display and antagonism toward me for taking up three parking spots was so unnecessary that it was obvious she had bigger problems than needing to chew someone out. It was oddly...reassuring. Comforting. She made me see how stupid it is to get worked up about things you can't control. Her little temper tantrum had the exact opposite affect on me that she was aiming for. I was thankful that my life wasn't like hers, thankful for my wonderful husband and great friends. I hope the memory of the incident will make me think twice about my reactions, or actions, toward others.
Writers should see humanity in all its facets. Blue Sedan woman was one bizarre facet of humanity. I wonder if her day got better or worse after that?
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8 comments:
Yikes - that was kind of scary - why not face you instead of your son - it's amazing what people will do - great lesson that you guys came away from it though.
And you are so much better today than that woman will ever be. So neener neener to her - lol - E :)
Janelle,
I've been tagged - see my latest posting for my meme tag info - The rules say I am to tag 8 people and I tag you. Let me know when you post - thanks - E :)
So, first of all, I came here via paloma (or the antqueen or any of her other aliases...) Hope you don't mind me jumping in.
Two things about the crazy lady in the parking lot - improper parking is a traffic offense and you can get a ticket for it. Even in private lots, or, the owner of the lot can have your vehicle towed. Now, not with you sitting in it eating your lunch, of course.
And, never underestimate what an enraged person might do. Not in this day and age. Getting into it may have seemed like an attractive option but... it's not worth what might happen.
I like your blog so I may be back from time to time, if that's okay.
cjh
Any friend of the AntQueen's has to be worthy to know. Lead me to your blog. Are you a WriMo, too?
It is my understanding that you are correct. The owners of the lot (who owns the Sears parking lots, anyway?) could have called the police, who would have told them to ask me to move. It is their right to require that patrons not abuse their parking lot. If I didn't move for whatever reason, then the store owner would have called a tow truck. The police would show up and cite me if I was creating a disturbance. If I failed to stop where it says stop in the parking lot, I would be throwing caution to the wind, but so far as I know I would not have violated any law so long as there was no accident. If my own property was one big parking lot and I had painted "stop" on the pavement here and there, and I chose not to stop, am I violating a law?
Maybe there is a city law that says I can't take up more than one space. I just don't know that any police officer CARES that I took up 3 spots way in the corner of a parking lot of hundreds of empty parking spots. However, you brought up something even bigger than laws and citations, and for that, I thank you!
I have to ask myself if I was being cavalier about rules of conduct just because there would likely be no consequence? If so, does that not undermine the intention of my story?
Excellent food for thought. It would only be fair to question my own motives if the actions of the Blue Sedan woman are brought to question.
I live in the Seattle area where people wait in the rain for a walk signal. We often sit at 4-way stops too long because we give the other driver a chance to go first. Drivers can now be ticketed for trying to cruise all the way up the on-ramp and go around the cars trying to merge (in other words, cutting in line). The actions of the Blue Sedan woman were surprisingly hostile. Transplant? Or Crusader for Parking Equality?
It's a tough call.
Thanks for stopping by my blog.
Oh, my. I didn't mean to imply that there was anything wrong with what you did. Not by a long shot. The cops, of which I was one once upon a time, would've been on your side in all likelihood. Their response would've been in the "Lady, take another spot, would ya please" category. Your behavior wasn't that out of line. Not in an almost empty parking lot.
The bluesedan lady was clearly having a very bad day or a psychotic episode or something.
And that was my point - out of control people cannot be trusted. They're the ones you see on the nightly news.
Once a cop, always a cop.
cjh
Oh, but you were right. I should consider how cavalier I was about my own infractions! And yes, she was having a psychotic episode, if the way she applied her makeup was any indication. I think her makeup was applied while she was channeling Tammy Faye Baker.
Now that fact alone would've convinced me to stay the heck out of her way!
BTW, could I add you to the blogroll on my reading site? You can find it at www.cjreading.blogspot.com
cjh
Yes, CJ! You certainly may. Thank you :)
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